This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
