I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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