Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
