Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
