Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
