Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
