got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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