I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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