fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
