Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
