return my video game
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
