We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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