What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
