My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
