Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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