I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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