i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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