Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize