he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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