My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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