I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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