i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
