How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
