which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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