Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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