You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
