you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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