is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
