I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
