wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everyone says I win the strip club
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
