I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
