Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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