wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
