quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
