YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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