hell yes lets make some ravioli
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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