he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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