I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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