She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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