Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
