I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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