just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
