May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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