A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
