Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
