just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
