Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
