Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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