Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
