She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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