I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
