My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
