I bet he comes in French.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
